Stigmatized - Chapter 15 (Morning After)
Aug. 12th, 2010 06:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
armanyaFirst of all let me just say... if you are still here readning this, then THANK YOU. I know this chapter has been a long time coming and I'm really sorry about that. I really honestly couldn't decide where to go with it, I had a few different version of it and nothing seemed right. So I sat down and rewrote it yet AGAIN, and this time I think I'm happy witht he outcome!
Thanks for bearing with me, I have the next few chapters written also so chapters should be much quicker now. :)
Title: Stigmatized
Chapter: 15 /?
Author: Nikki (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
vagarical )
Genre: Hancest
Pairing: Zaylor
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Language
POV: 3rd Person
Word Count: 1208
Summary: They both lived two different lives. They each had a public life, a life with their family, their work, and the fans. And then there was the private life, the one they shared behind closed doors. The life noone else could ever find out about, because noone else could ever understand.
Author's Notes: This fic is inspired by the song Stigmatized by The Calling. Thanks todrunkinlov3 for the lovely banner.
“Do you really believe he still wants to continue what we’re doing?” Taylor asked in a hushed voice the following morning, staring into the large mug of coffee he was cradling in his hands.
Andy looked up from the food he was cooking to glance at him, biting his lip. As much as he wanted to be able to tell Taylor that it would all work out, as much as he actually did think it would be alright, there was no way he could be sure. He hardly even knew Zac, he was basing his judgment on what Taylor had told him of their relationship, and he knew that it might not be a totally accurate source.
“Tay…” He put the food onto plates and brought them over to the table, sitting down opposite Taylor. Taylor looked up at him then, his eyes filled with unshed tears.
“I need him so fucking much Andy. I don’t think I could live if I had to just pretend we are nothing more than brothers.”
Andy reached across the table, putting his hand over one of Taylor’s that was still clutching the mug. He never quite knew what to say when the topic of Taylor and Zac came up, the fact that they were together was something he had gradually got used to since catching them in the tree house all those years ago, but even though he could tell they cared for each other he still couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for encouraging their relationship. Even if he personally had come to the conclusion that they weren’t hurting anyone, he knew that most people wouldn’t share his views, and there were so many reasons why he should try to talk sense into them. But he knew that even if he did, his attempts would more than likely fail, so he would rather try to be there for them.
“Come on Tay, I don’t know any more than you do, but if what you have told me is true, I think he needs you just as much. Just give him some space and he will realize that.”
“I guess so.”
Taylor shrugged and back down at his coffee, taking a sip before he set it aside and picked up his fork to stab at his pancakes. He wasn’t sure why, but he suddenly felt angry with the world and the fact that he could feel Andy’s eyes on him only made him more irritated.
“Dude. What’s up?”
Taylor stopped his attempt to massacre his breakfast and glared at Andy, who held his stare without eve flinching. He had dealt with Taylor’s moods too many times to feel threatened, he knew that even if Taylor’s passion fuelled anger could be intimidating, when it came down to it Taylor wouldn’t hurt a fly and the worst he might get would be some razor sharp words.
“Everything is just so unfair.” Taylor sighed, worrying his lip as his anger slowly gave way to defeat.
“What is?” Andy asked, even if he was sure he had a good idea.
“You’re not fucking supposed to be able to fall in love with your brother. I just don’t understand what we did to deserve this.” He wiped at his eyes, annoyed with the tears that seemed intent on falling. He kept asking himself what the hell was wrong with him lately? He should not be crying over his little brother!
“Taylor.” Andy reached across the table again, grabbing Taylor’s hand, stopping his irritated wiping. “Dude, look at me.”
Taylor looked up, his bottom lip quivering as he made a futile attempt to blink away the tears. He met Andy’s sympathetic gaze as Andy’s hand gently squeezed his own to reassure him.
“Whatever the two of you did Tay, it can’t have been something bad. I know it’s hard on you, but seriously, what you two have is really fucking special. And maybe it’s meant to be difficult so you won’t take it for granted. You know-“
He stopped when the doorbell rang, looking like he was going to ignore it at first but when it kept ringing angrily and it became apparent that whoever it was wasn’t going to go away he stood up.
“I’ll be back.” He touched Taylor’s arm before he left the kitchen.
Taylor picked at the pancakes again, they were nearly cold now which did nothing to rekindle his appetite as he forked some into his mouth. He should be hungry, he normally was the morning after, but right now the foot just seemed to make him nauseous. He pushed the plate away and took another sip of his now lukewarm coffee, straining his ears to see if he could make out who was at the door as a means of distracting himself from his thoughts.
He stiffened at the muffled sound of arguing, he couldn’t make out what it was about but he momentarily reminded himself that he was in a place where arguing could fast escalate into very threatening situations. He froze on his chair as he heard the distinct sounds of struggle and wish he could somehow just disappear as footsteps hurried down the hallway. He steeled himself for whatever might happen, trying to remain calm, hoping that if it was something related to Andy’s “business” it would be obvious to anyone who might come looking for trouble that he wasn’t involved with it. Though in his rather disheveled state he doubted that he looked like an innocent bystander.
“Taylor!”
Taylor’s head snapped up at the sound of his brother’s voice, relief and guilt flowing through him simultaneously. Zac’s eyes were fiery as they met his, the obvious anger scalding him before Zac’s demeanor instantly softened as he saw the tear’s on Taylor’s face that had yet to dry completely.
“Tay? What-. We had a meeting at nine.”
Zac shifted uncomfortably as Andy hurried into the kitchen behind him, stepping into the room to stand between them as if he was afraid that Zac would try to hurt Taylor. For a few moments there was nothing but uncomfortable silence as their eyes darted around the room, seizing each other, all three of them unable to stop themselves from remembering the last time they had all been here together.
“Shit, I totally forgot.” Taylor said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Well we moved it to twelve. You can come back with me if you get ready now.” Zac’s tone had a piercing edge, but Taylor could easily tell the it wasn’t meant to be directed at him. It wasn’t hard to make out the obvious worry that Zac was trying to hide.
“I’ll go have a quick shower, that ok?” Taylor stood as Zac simply nodded at him, walking close enough for his hand to brush against Zac’s arm as he passed him, trying to ignore the way Zac tensed as he did so.
Taylor felt the tears sting his eyes again as he climbed the stairs to make his way to the bathroom. He had felt so sure that Zac really would come back. But now he realized that there was a strong possibility that he had ruined everything by coming here last night.
Thanks for bearing with me, I have the next few chapters written also so chapters should be much quicker now. :)
Title: Stigmatized
Chapter: 15 /?
Author: Nikki (
vagarical )Genre: Hancest
Pairing: Zaylor
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Language
POV: 3rd Person
Word Count: 1208
Summary: They both lived two different lives. They each had a public life, a life with their family, their work, and the fans. And then there was the private life, the one they shared behind closed doors. The life noone else could ever find out about, because noone else could ever understand.
Author's Notes: This fic is inspired by the song Stigmatized by The Calling. Thanks to
drunkinlov3 for the lovely banner.“Do you really believe he still wants to continue what we’re doing?” Taylor asked in a hushed voice the following morning, staring into the large mug of coffee he was cradling in his hands.
Andy looked up from the food he was cooking to glance at him, biting his lip. As much as he wanted to be able to tell Taylor that it would all work out, as much as he actually did think it would be alright, there was no way he could be sure. He hardly even knew Zac, he was basing his judgment on what Taylor had told him of their relationship, and he knew that it might not be a totally accurate source.
“Tay…” He put the food onto plates and brought them over to the table, sitting down opposite Taylor. Taylor looked up at him then, his eyes filled with unshed tears.
“I need him so fucking much Andy. I don’t think I could live if I had to just pretend we are nothing more than brothers.”
Andy reached across the table, putting his hand over one of Taylor’s that was still clutching the mug. He never quite knew what to say when the topic of Taylor and Zac came up, the fact that they were together was something he had gradually got used to since catching them in the tree house all those years ago, but even though he could tell they cared for each other he still couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for encouraging their relationship. Even if he personally had come to the conclusion that they weren’t hurting anyone, he knew that most people wouldn’t share his views, and there were so many reasons why he should try to talk sense into them. But he knew that even if he did, his attempts would more than likely fail, so he would rather try to be there for them.
“Come on Tay, I don’t know any more than you do, but if what you have told me is true, I think he needs you just as much. Just give him some space and he will realize that.”
“I guess so.”
Taylor shrugged and back down at his coffee, taking a sip before he set it aside and picked up his fork to stab at his pancakes. He wasn’t sure why, but he suddenly felt angry with the world and the fact that he could feel Andy’s eyes on him only made him more irritated.
“Dude. What’s up?”
Taylor stopped his attempt to massacre his breakfast and glared at Andy, who held his stare without eve flinching. He had dealt with Taylor’s moods too many times to feel threatened, he knew that even if Taylor’s passion fuelled anger could be intimidating, when it came down to it Taylor wouldn’t hurt a fly and the worst he might get would be some razor sharp words.
“Everything is just so unfair.” Taylor sighed, worrying his lip as his anger slowly gave way to defeat.
“What is?” Andy asked, even if he was sure he had a good idea.
“You’re not fucking supposed to be able to fall in love with your brother. I just don’t understand what we did to deserve this.” He wiped at his eyes, annoyed with the tears that seemed intent on falling. He kept asking himself what the hell was wrong with him lately? He should not be crying over his little brother!
“Taylor.” Andy reached across the table again, grabbing Taylor’s hand, stopping his irritated wiping. “Dude, look at me.”
Taylor looked up, his bottom lip quivering as he made a futile attempt to blink away the tears. He met Andy’s sympathetic gaze as Andy’s hand gently squeezed his own to reassure him.
“Whatever the two of you did Tay, it can’t have been something bad. I know it’s hard on you, but seriously, what you two have is really fucking special. And maybe it’s meant to be difficult so you won’t take it for granted. You know-“
He stopped when the doorbell rang, looking like he was going to ignore it at first but when it kept ringing angrily and it became apparent that whoever it was wasn’t going to go away he stood up.
“I’ll be back.” He touched Taylor’s arm before he left the kitchen.
Taylor picked at the pancakes again, they were nearly cold now which did nothing to rekindle his appetite as he forked some into his mouth. He should be hungry, he normally was the morning after, but right now the foot just seemed to make him nauseous. He pushed the plate away and took another sip of his now lukewarm coffee, straining his ears to see if he could make out who was at the door as a means of distracting himself from his thoughts.
He stiffened at the muffled sound of arguing, he couldn’t make out what it was about but he momentarily reminded himself that he was in a place where arguing could fast escalate into very threatening situations. He froze on his chair as he heard the distinct sounds of struggle and wish he could somehow just disappear as footsteps hurried down the hallway. He steeled himself for whatever might happen, trying to remain calm, hoping that if it was something related to Andy’s “business” it would be obvious to anyone who might come looking for trouble that he wasn’t involved with it. Though in his rather disheveled state he doubted that he looked like an innocent bystander.
“Taylor!”
Taylor’s head snapped up at the sound of his brother’s voice, relief and guilt flowing through him simultaneously. Zac’s eyes were fiery as they met his, the obvious anger scalding him before Zac’s demeanor instantly softened as he saw the tear’s on Taylor’s face that had yet to dry completely.
“Tay? What-. We had a meeting at nine.”
Zac shifted uncomfortably as Andy hurried into the kitchen behind him, stepping into the room to stand between them as if he was afraid that Zac would try to hurt Taylor. For a few moments there was nothing but uncomfortable silence as their eyes darted around the room, seizing each other, all three of them unable to stop themselves from remembering the last time they had all been here together.
“Shit, I totally forgot.” Taylor said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Well we moved it to twelve. You can come back with me if you get ready now.” Zac’s tone had a piercing edge, but Taylor could easily tell the it wasn’t meant to be directed at him. It wasn’t hard to make out the obvious worry that Zac was trying to hide.
“I’ll go have a quick shower, that ok?” Taylor stood as Zac simply nodded at him, walking close enough for his hand to brush against Zac’s arm as he passed him, trying to ignore the way Zac tensed as he did so.
Taylor felt the tears sting his eyes again as he climbed the stairs to make his way to the bathroom. He had felt so sure that Zac really would come back. But now he realized that there was a strong possibility that he had ruined everything by coming here last night.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-08-17 11:30 am (UTC)Yeah, much as it's cute when Zaylor is all fluffy and they just accept it... I can never imagine that actually happening. Especially not with their religious upbringing, but even if it wasn't for that incest is so taboo and seen as being so unnatural and wrong that if it actually involved emotions they just couldn't let go of I can't imagine it being a totally happy place to be in. And right now in this story I think they're suddenly having to come to terms with this fact, like even though they have kissed for so long they're only just admitting that it goes so far beyond just that. And it must be rather scary to suddenly be faced with that realization!
Lol I know, next chapter is rather drama filled. With Zac on the warpath and already not liking Andy much this just can't be good. :P
no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 04:19 am (UTC)Zac tensed as he did so
I hope he doesn't read too much into that. I don't know, maybe I'm not reading enough into it. lol But I think that reaction was a combination of where they were, who else was with them, and what's been going on between them. It's not necessarily a bad thing, I mean... it doesn't have to be an indicator of something negative, it could just be that he was... you know... tense. lol
there was a strong possibility that he had ruined everything by coming here last night.
Aww, don't think that way Taylor. Nothing is unfixable. Just be a good boy and grovel a little. :p
♥
No.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-14 04:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-17 11:24 am (UTC)I think you're right not to read too much into it. He is obviously upset with Tay but I think he's more upset with the situation in general, and worried about Taylor's safety of course. He did also spend most of the night in sleepless worry about Taylor, so now that he knows Taylor is safe his emotions are likely all over the place!
Tehe, it's funny I can't really picture Taylor as the kind to growel. Though i think before this drama is over he might have to. :P
no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-17 11:17 am (UTC)I think Zac needs it as well but... he is alone for the moment, poor thing. :(
no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 07:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-17 11:14 am (UTC)I'll try to have more out asap! Working on a challenge fic atm so being a bit slow on other stuff. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-08-15 06:57 pm (UTC)Lol, I was about to say that he shouldn't feel guilty about. Zac and Taylor were going to be together regardless of whether he tried to discourage them or not, there was nothing he could do about it.
Well. I guess he could have revealed their relationship to someone, but it wouldn't have stopped them from feeling the way they did, and eventually they probably just would have found a way back together anyway. Can't mess with fate!
I like that he seems to be cool with Zac's and Taylor's relationship, though. Makes me not hate him as much for being an aid in Taylor's destructive habits. :X
And I'm so glad that Zac showed up! With the tension that's been created, this is going to be even more interesting.
He had felt so sure that Zac really would come back. But now he realized that there was a strong possibility that he had ruined everything by coming here last night.
Awww, poor Taylor. I doubt that he ruined everything like he thinks he did. I'm sure that if he just talks to Zac and apologizes, they can work everything out.
By the way, so glad to see this story back, I've missed it so much!! <3333333333333333333333333 Love ya! :D
no subject
Date: 2010-08-17 11:02 am (UTC)Yeah Andy is a good guy really. There will be some more of him I think, I didn't plan to have that much of him in the story at the start but it seems over the next few chapters he's gonna be about quite a bit.
Yup, I love finding ways to get some tension! And yeah, Taylor is just being extremely worried about losing Zac right now. Poor thing. :(
Glad you're happy that this is back! I've been so frustrated with it not going where I wanted to, so it's a relief to be back on track with it too.